Managing the green-eyed monster 👿 When you’re jealous of your friend’s success.

I don't know about you, but it can feel like a real blow when you've been on the job hunt for months, while your friend - who may even have a stable job right now - decides to apply to a better job and lands it on the first try.

Meanwhile, you've been sending out resumes, working your network, hustling to land anything that's a fit and... nothing. 

It's so hard to be happy for someone when you feel like things aren't lining up for you the way you'd hoped. Who here is guilty of feeling a little jealous? Angry? 🙋‍♂️

Let's talk about that for a second and see how we can reframe our mindset.

Their success isn't about you ☝

The fact that they succeeded doesn't mean you're a failure. The two things aren't mutually exclusive.

They went through a completely different set of circumstances and just happened to land a job. It can feel a little like the lottery, so just remember that it's not about you. 

While it's tempting to go to a dark place and feel resentful, you are doing the best you can right now and every day presents new opportunities to go after.

Everybody is fighting a battle you can't see 🎭

Just because they look like they're succeeding doesn't mean everything is going wonderfully. 

Maybe they are managing through loss, debt, illness - any number of things that could occur at one time or another. We don't always know what our friends are going through and everyone is doing the best they can with what they have.

They're outwardly projecting confidence, but could be struggling inside - much like you may be right now. 

Be happy for them, anyway 😬

Take a moment to disconnect from your struggles and be present for them. Celebrate their success the way you would if you were in a better position right now.

Psychologically, just by smiling, giving and recognizing your friend's success, you could "trick" your brain into feeling a bit happier. 

Also, your friend's success could mean yours too. You are the company you keep, so surrounding yourself with positive, successful people will bleed those wonderful effects into your own life. 

Be kind to yourself - this is a normal feeling 💕

Forgive yourself. Jealousy is a normal, natural feeling. Someone has something you want and you're having a very human reaction to it. 

So long as you're not destructive - to yourself or your friend - it's fine. 

Heal yourself by taking time out of your day to work through the feelings. Meditate, work out, read - whatever healthy coping mechanism works for you. 

Remember that your time will still come 🌅

You will absolutely find something new - a new job, a new freelance opportunity, new people to add to your network.

Change is the one thing in life that doesn't change, so anticipate and embrace it. You may even be on the job hunt again in the future (but you'll be much better equipped, thanks to Landing 😉)

Where you are now isn't where you'll be in a year, or in five years. 

So long as you are regularly applying to jobs, networking and spending time developing yourself, you're going to be great. 

Have an amazing week 😁


Richard Gawlas